My back is broad, but it's a hurting

I had to turn off that #%^* movie Wall-E because the last thing I want
to see right now is a movie about fat people on a galactic cruise.
STUPIDEST MOVIE EVER!
So we stopped at some hillbilly gas station in rural Oregon and David
tells us to grab whatever snacks we want to eat. He has the nerve to
point out to me they serve fried burritos and corn dogs. To which my
reply is you're not sitting in the back watching a movie about fat
people. The only non-cookie, non-potato chip, non fried snack they had
was cat food. Whitefish tuna is low in saturated fat, right? The label
was completely lacking in pertinent information, such as calories and
carbs, so I didn't risk it and stuck with a humongous diet pepsi and
put on a different movie. One about thin people.