locked myself out of the house-wearing only a bikini. The only extra
set of keys were with David...in Vermont. Long story short, my mom
saved the day and got us inside.
"Worser" Case Scenario: That same night, after tucking my kids into
bed, I went to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of Coppola wine to
sip while I watched chick flicks, I saw a flash of light grey zip
across my backsplash. A mouse. Might as well have been an anaconda
because I ran to the back bedroom and hyperventitexted all of my
family members (including David) to race to my home and save us. Jett,
like a good son, mirrored all of my emotions. Jorja said, "I wanna see
the mouse!" But it was my Mom and Dad who saved the day, making a
human shield as I bolted out the front door. The kids and I stayed the
night at my parents' house. Don't judge...
David instructs me, from the other side of the country where I'm
certain varmint don't live, to buy glue traps. He likes these because
they don't kill the mouse and then he can massage their little feet
out with vegetable oil and release them in a nearby field (true story)
where they can go find the secret of Nimh. Sorry, Charlie, but I'm
going Rosenberg on these suckers!!!
My sister, who now lives in the country and is like the mouse
whisperer (who knew?) introduces me to the electric chair mouse trap:
a black box that entices them in with promises of chunky peanut butter
but delivers a lethal jolt. And it's so easy to dispose of the corpse!
You just call your dad and he takes the black box outside and when he
comes back in, it's empty!!!
Already killed one and I'm excited to go back and see if the light is
flashing (signifying death) once again.
Although this post has nothing to do with food, or my obsession with
my weight, it's been so life altering that I forgot to eat.
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