Moi and Old "Geezer"

I'm talking about the nostalgically famous "Old Faithful Geyser" in Yellowstone National Park. Actually, the park is full of geysers and geothermal hot springs. Jett kept mistakenly referring to the geysers as "geezers" and I stopped correcting him because "geezer" is an appropriate name for an act of nature that consistently spews the scent of a hard boiled egg fart. In Yellowstone, however, the public receives impending warnings (give or take 10 minutes) that grandma never could predict about her old geezer's eruptions.

The amount of water that Old Faithful gushes is amazing. Like that broken sprinkler in your backyard, it can always be relied upon to go off and flood its surroundings. But, the smell-oh the smell of sulphur-is a gift that keeps on giving.

We ran into some geyser fanatics (similar to the desert weirdos' fascination with rocks, but they carry a little pencil and notebook with schedules of pending eruptions, plus or minus ten minutes) who were out of breath, running, telling us the Beehive Geyser was about to erupt (plus or minus ten minutes) and it is bigger than Old Faithful. Since it was obvious they knew their stuff, we followed. They were right. A massive gush of sulphur scented water blasted into the air. Then, an unfortunate wind shift blasted the lookie-loos, including David and Jett. Drenched!

Now onto the hot springs...

Imagine it's June, but so cold out there's still snow on the ground. You've just left the desert, so you're wearing light clothing and a rad cowboy hat. As you clutch yourself to stay warm, walking down the trail, you come across a gift from God: a natural hot tub in the ground! It even has jets, as evidenced by the bubbles coming to the top. The warmth is floating off the ground and steam surrounds your face. It feels so inviting you're willing to ignore the sulphur smell. Just one foot goes in...

But stop-CAVEAT!

You will literally be boiled alive, as hundred of people have been before. Remember when you were a kid, avoiding the "hot lava" or else be killed? This is the real life version of that game. Even walking near them, on the thin, crusty surroundings is not allowed because the ground is so thin a person can fall through, as hundreds of people have before.

There are signs of impending doom throughout Yellowstone.  I'm a rule follower, and I kinda like my kids, so I'm scrambling all around them in a panic-"Don't walk off the trail! HOT LAVA!" I can see Jett put his foot ever so lightly on the dangerous ground to "test" it out. REALLY??? Why test the gods of hot lava??? Didn't he learn anything in second grade? My chest is getting tight and panic is filling my lungs as my family happily skips on a wood plank trail-the only thing coming between them and hot lava!

Then we see it. Huge piles of bison crap on the thin, crusty layers topping the hot lava. Here it comes. I know it. My eight year old says, "If huge bison can walk on the ground without falling in, why can't we?" 

Touché.